Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Meet Delilah

She has become the bane of our existence. She's a security system that our home's previous owner had a subscription to. We've since cancelled the subscription but apparently Delilah's decided to stick around. At first she was only mildly irritating, announcing each time the front or back door was opened or closed. My clever husband quickly discovered the battery operated sensor at each door, though, and she was silenced.

Or so we thought.

Until our second night in the house when we woke up at 1 am to 6 loud beeps. And then silence. And then 6 loud beeps. And then silence. And then 6 loud beeps. And then silence. And I think you've got the idea. (Did I mention she also woke up Jace? He is screaming in his bedroom.) Thirty minutes later, after a series of expletives and button pushing, my husband had quieted Delilah.

We call Crime Alert Security System the following morning and as politely as possible explain our situation and ask them to come and take Delilah away. The man assured us a technician would call later that afternoon or the next morning to schedule a time to come to our house. The rest of the day passes without a phone call. Night approaches and assuming we had solved the problem we go to bed without giving Delilah much thought. As expected she spends the night quietly installed next to our linen closet.

Although there is still no phone call the next day.

Then last night she returned. With a vengeance.

My husband tries the same pattern of button pushing as two nights ago. Six loud beeps follow. Earlier in the day he found the power unit while organizing the guest room closet, so his next step is to unplug that. Six loud beeps follow. (Remember it is approximately 1:30 am). After a few more expletives and searching our dark house with a miniature flashlight, he finds his wire cutters and cuts the wires attached to Delilah through the wall of the linen closet. Six loud beeps follow.

At this point we are both convinced our house is possessed and we surely won't make it through the night alive (By the grace of God Jace sleeps through this entire ordeal.)

But then there is a miracle at 1632 Quillmark Road and all we hear is silence.

Five minutes go by. Silence. Ten minutes go by. Silence. Fifteen minutes and no more beeping.

Without speaking we both find our way back into bed, hoping and praying that Delilah has caused enough excitement for one night.

And knowing full well that Crime Alert Security System will be getting another phone call, possibly less polite, first thing in the morning.


  1. Bwah ha ha ha! Best post yet! DIE DELILAH!!! And God help those poor people at Crime Alert Security System... Don't they know that Hell hath no wrath like that of a mother whose baby's sleep has been unnecessarily disturbed...

  2. Should name her GLaDOUS.

    /geeky gamer reference